As patriarch, Ellis was the family disciplinarian. He meted out punishment whenever some transgression was committed. “Corrective action,” as he called it, ranged from diapers made of newspapers, spanking, going to bed without any supper, washing out mouths with soap, not allowing television watching, confiscation of electronic devices, preventing leaving home, taking car keys away, and the most cruel of all having mother along on dates using the family minivan.
In one attempt to break the reins of parental control, Ellis’ high school daughter engaged her father in verbal confrontation. During that heated exchange, she blurted out, “F*** YOU DAD!” and braced in anticipation of a slap across the face. Instead, Ellis calmly asked, “Why do you want to have sex with me?”
The teenager was shocked into silence, flabbergasted, stunned, her mind frozen. After what seemed like an eon, a meek response came forth, “Huh? What? Eugh! I don’t.”
Ellis then stated his thoughts regarding highly emotional usage of ‘For Unnatural Carnal Knowledge.’ “Young lady, when you yell f-off, f-you, f-any person’s name, you accomplish two things. First, you are telling everyone who can hear your voice or read your lips that ‘you haven’t had any’ – even if you have. Second, you are outwardly expressing your subconscious desire and openly inviting that individual to have sex with you.”
To this day, whenever some person in the thrall of protest yells F*** Trump, F*** Joe Biden, or F*** whoever, the now adult woman cracks a wry smile, mutters a chortle, and thinks of her dad’s advice.
(All Wet Publishing, LLC © 2026)